Let me tell you a big secret of achieving goals. Especially those big ones like:
- Changing your career
- Starting a new business
- Moving to a new country
It is not about how badly you want to achieve your goals but about your willingness and endurance to accept the pain that goes hand in hand with realizing them.
If the goals are big and the pain that goes with it is not perceived as big than the chances are that you are going to make it. But when the pain is perceived as potentially big than it starts to be problematic.
Every change involves some sort of pain that one has to go through. This is part of nature. Therefore, we humans do not like change.
Our willingness and resilience in going through change is what we should be looking at when determining if we will go for it.
So, the question you should be asking yourself is not – ‘how badly do I want it?’ but ‘what am I willing to sacrifice to get there?’.
And there is good news! You can prepare yourself in a way that you will be able to achieve your goals. You just need to know HOW.
Before I will tell you the method, please have a look at the cover of my book “Career Jump” and look at the jumping girls. Think for a moment, how did she do it? Could it be that she just closed the eyes, prayed for the good outcome and just jumped? I doubt it.
Do you know the answer?
And here it is:
1. She wanted to leave the old ‘rock’
If the girl on the left side would be perfectly happy with the rock she was on, would she decide to jump? Probably not.
So, in order to decide to jump, the situation that you are in is most probably not very favorable. It could be a difficult boss, boring daily job or lack of growing opportunities. There is a sort of discontent with your current situation.
2. She understood the pain and the fear that was ahead of herself
The jumping girl looked her fear deep in the eye. She looked down and thought’ “Shit – I am scared”. But she did not turn away from the fear. She went one step further and understood what she was really scared of.
In order to jump you need to know what keeps you in your current situation and why you are hesitating. You need to know what you are scared of. Keep on asking yourself and dig deep until you will know the answer.
Sometimes it is not only about the fear but about breaking the habits that keep us stuck. We need to get uncomfortable to try out new things. I often say to my clients who want to get the new job that it is extremely important to network. Some of them do not enjoy the idea of reaching out to the people that they do not know. As mentioned already, the ones that are most successful are not the ones who very badly want the new job but the ones who are willing to leave their comfort zone, sacrifice their peace and act!
3. She had a vision of what she was jumping towards
She saw the other rock, maybe clearly, maybe vaguely, but she had a vision of what the other side could look like.
This is an important point to focus on. Paint the vision not only of what you want to achieve but also who you want to become on the other side.
4. She had a coach that supported her on her journey
It is not for nothing that all sportswomen and men have a coach. Your coach is there to support you on a journey. To help you to understand what you are afraid of, help you to paint the vision of what you want to achieve, to cheer for you when you are going through the change and every now and then to kick your butt so you move on.
5. She had a cheerleader club who believed in her
Some people can go on themselves and achieve their goals. Most of us need cheerleading from the side lines. I always say at the start of coaching to my clients, do not share your dreams and goals in the beginning with sceptics, find your true supports and trust them with your plans. Even if they might not understand what you are trying to achieve, they will remain positive and supportive. To the others remain quiet until you are confident about yourself and what you want to achieve.
6. She practiced
Nothing great happens without hard work. Getting out of the comfort zone is difficult, therefore it needs practice. Set smaller goals first, which are easier to achieve and where the pain associated with them is relatively small. Achieving those goals will give you confidence necessary for the big jump.
7. She believed in herself and … jumped!
There will always be a certain level of uncertainty. It is called life. It is not about not feeling the fear. Trust me we all have it. It is about looking the fear in the eye, believe in yourself and go for it!
Do you need some help and guidance so that you can change career and do what matters to you? Make sure to read my book “Career Jump!”, if you are outside of the Netherlands you can also get it on Amazon, both paperback and an ebook version are available!